mental health, Self Dare, Uncategorized

Powerlessness and You

Today, someone messaged me and asked how to deal with the feeling of being powerless, and the ensuing emotions that resulted from that feeling. They also said that they would feel so bad that they weren’t pursuing anything else, out of solidarity for those suffering. I answered the inquiry, and I wanted to share with you what I said to this person:

First of all, I totally understand the feeling. When things are happening on a greater, grander scale (like national or even global decisions), it’s natural to feel like there isn’t anything you can do, and that leads to feeling frustrated with yourself, getting depressed, etc. And I don’t want to say that it’s “good” that you feel that way, but it’s a better response than not caring at all.

And sometimes it’s not even on such a big scale. When we see someone in our life who is in pain, we want to make it better. We want to fix the problem. And when we can’t, it feels like a failure. We take on their suffering because we believe that somehow it balances out. Unfortunately, it doesn’t. I mean, put yourself in the other person’s shoes: if you were to find out that someone was suffering on your behalf, would that make you feel better? Probably not.

Ultimately, though, it’s about balance and finding a direction to turn your emotional response.

For me, personally, regarding the bigger scale issues, after the election and after the first few weeks of just feeling like the world was ending, I started getting more involved with activism in my area. Nothing huge, but this week we met up with some people and wrote to our local and state representatives. Next, we’re planning an event to help raise money for local organizations. That feels good. It feels like something, and it keeps me rooted in knowing that I am a part of the ‘good side.’

On a smaller, more personal level, I’ve also been getting back into the mode of creativity, because I know that people need something good to look at when things in the world seem pretty dark. This is the time people need art and words and anything to make them feel a bit better. If I can use that to bolster the spirit of someone who is suffering, I will.

And really – take care of yourself. Feeling bad in and of itself will only wear you out. Enjoy the things that you love and be grateful for them, and look for ways that you can reach out and be there for people having a rough go of it. Remember, you need to secure your own oxygen mask before you can assist others with theirs.

Once again with regard to the bigger stuff, this is a particularly good read that a friend posted on Twitter this week, and it was something I absolutely had to read.

I hope this helps. Hang in there!

motivation, Personal, Uncategorized

2017 is EVOLVE

I’m not going to mince words here: 2016 was not fun for anyone. I spent the second portion of December sick as a dog – including on Christmas, as if I needed to be punched in the boob one more time for good measure – and I fell behind on everything. 2016 was stressful and difficult for me personally, and there are tons of listicles and tweets out there with reasons why this was the case for most other people too.

But 2017 is here. We’re moving on. We’re starting fresh, and it’s going to be great.

So this year, I’ve chosen the word EVOLVE.

Anyone who knows me knows that for roughly the last six months, I have been really, really, really into Pokemon, especially Pokemon Go. And although Pikachu still holds a precious place in my heart, my mascot for this year is this little guy:

eevee

This is Eevee. Isn’t he cute? Eevees are considered “Normal” Pokemon but they are extremely adaptable. Under different conditions, Eevees can evolve into eight different forms that are all unique, powerful and really freaking awesome. But the thing about it is that an Eevee that remains an Eevee is still fantastic! Look at that face! He’s good just the way he is.

I want so much to be better in 2017. I want to take the things that I do and kick them up a notch. I want to be better, do better, make better and give better to the world. When something challenges me, I want to take a step back and say, “Here is the bare minimum I could do. But how can I do more?” But I also want to recognize and be confident with the person that I am in the present. I want to choose to be happy and honest and comfortable with the ‘me’ that I am now so I know that the changes I’m making are just to enhance that goodness.

So how about you guys? What are you looking forward to evolving into in the new year?

Goals and Ambitions, Uncategorized

2017 is EVOLVE

I’m not going to mince words here: 2016 was not fun for anyone. I spent the second portion of December sick as a dog – including on Christmas, as if I needed to be punched in the boob one more time for good measure – and I fell behind on everything. 2016 was stressful and difficult for me personally, and there are tons of listicles and tweets out there with reasons why this was the case for most other people too.

But 2017 is here. We’re moving on. We’re starting fresh, and it’s going to be great.

So this year, I’ve chosen the word EVOLVE.

Anyone who knows me knows that for roughly the last six months, I have been really, really, really into Pokemon, especially Pokemon Go. And although Pikachu still holds a precious place in my heart, my mascot for this year is this little guy:

eevee

This is Eevee. Isn’t he cute? Eevees are considered “Normal” Pokemon but they are extremely adaptable. Under different conditions, Eevees can evolve into eight different forms that are all unique, powerful and really freaking awesome. But the thing about it is that an Eevee that remains an Eevee is still fantastic! Look at that face! He’s good just the way he is.

I want so much to be better in 2017. I want to take the things that I do and kick them up a notch. I want to be better, do better, make better and give better to the world. When something challenges me, I want to take a step back and say, “Here is the bare minimum I could do. But how can I do more?” But I also want to recognize and be confident with the person that I am in the present. I want to choose to be happy and honest and comfortable with the ‘me’ that I am now so I know that the changes I’m making are just to enhance that goodness.

So how about you guys? What are you looking forward to evolving into in the new year?

Uncategorized

Holiday Affirmations: Day 18

I just got power back after 24 hours, because someone hit a pole in my neighborhood. I also lost my computer profile. I am freaking exhausted. It feels like the universe is conspiring against me. But I’m still kicking. I finished my Christmas cards in the dark. I wrote a lot. I had a friend who could come and pick me up and give me a place to recharge my phone and get work done. It could always be worse. Keep looking forward, y’all. You can do it.

Physical Challenge, Uncategorized

Holiday Affirmations: Day 17

At this point, as we’re making the mad dash towards the finish, it’s tempting to say, “I’ll just eat whatever I can get my hands on” or “I can sleep after this is all done.” Although there certainly are concessions that have to be made, it is even more crucial during crunch-time to take care of yourself as much as possible. That means eating some damn vegetables, and getting to bed each night. Sure, this may not be the best time to try that juice cleanse that your aunt keeps bringing up, but you should at least try to keep your body from double-crossing you when you need it most.

Uncategorized

Holiday Affirmations: Day 16

We’re getting closer to the end, here. The last week. If you’re like me – planning a trip, finishing everything, balancing day to day stuff – then you’re probably starting to feel the pressure. At this point, it’s easy to make excuses as to why to avoid priorities and the dreaded to do list. But this is the one time I will suggest this: picture yourself on December 26 (or whenever the holiday is over for you). Imagine it all being over. You did it. You’re done. You’re at home with your pants off, taking a breath because it’s all finished. It’ll be here before you know it. This will seem like nothing in no time. Hold on to that future you.

affirmations, Uncategorized

Holiday Affirmations: Day 15

Don’t give up hope. The world may be dark, maybe getting darker, but you’re still here. The sun is never gone forever. Even though you may think but there’s no way that you can continue, you can. Don’t get caught up in the tangle of the little things but also don’t let the giants swallow you. You are very significant. You matter. Live.

Uncategorized

Holiday Affirmations: Day 14

Take some time today to acknowledge the things that you’ve gotten done over the past two weeks. Don’t look at your ‘to do’ list, but instead create a ‘done’ list (why did I want to write ‘to done’? That’s silly…). Even if you just mentally stop to take stock of what you’ve accomplished to this point, do it. Give yourself that pat on the back. You deserve it. You’re doing a great job, and you’re going to be okay.

Uncategorized

Holiday Affirmations: Day 13

A bit of a follow-up to yesterday, but on the other end of it. As much as this holiday may be about the act of giving, there is grace in receiving as well. There will be times when those around you will want to give you something out of affection or friendship, and it is tempting to decline or to explain why you didn’t give them something or to make a blanket statement on why you don’t want anything. Though it may be difficult to do so, try to let go of your reservations. Respond kindly. Acknowledge the act with gratitude and joy in the moment. You may never know how much that means to someone.