Reflecting vs Resolving

So over on my writing site, I just did my annual post of my 5 Favorite Things from 2015. Check it out by clicking the image below:

I started doing this because every year, the big idea we see plastered all over the media each late-December-early-January is ARE YOU READY FOR THE NEW YOU? Everybody talks about resolutions. “Should we do them? Shouldn’t we? Are we setting ourselves up for failure? And have you joined a gym yet? Clean out your fridge! Quit your job! GET IMPLANTS!”

However, while I do give myself some soft resolutions as well as a word to focus on (more on that tomorrow), I have learned that it’s just as important to stop and ask, “What did I do with myself this year? Who was I?”

In 2014, I traveled a lot. It was awesome. This year, because I didn’t travel as much, I’ve been muddling through the past few days, kicking rocks, a voice in my head saying, “Great, so I bought a house this year. Big whoop-dee-do.”

Then I started going through my Facebook timeline and my Google photos and guys. I did so much more than “just buy a house.” I did travel. I did a marathon. I went to author events. Hell, I had an author event of my own. I was so lost in the big picture of 2014 not being like 2015 that I almost let those memories slip away unrecognized.

So, during these first few days of 2016, I urge you to stop and take a good long look at this past year. Delight in the memories. Realize what you needed to learn from. And realize that the passage of time is the same today, tomorrow, on New Years Eve and Day and March 5 and July 10, onward and onward. We’re all hurling through life at the same speed. Live it viciously.

I dare you.

5 Best Things from 2015

Holy crap, guys, is it seriously 2016? Oh God, I typed 2015 there originally. It’s already too much for me. But don’t get me wrong, 2015 was kind of crazy. Here are the big five awesome things that happened to yours truly this year. My Five Favorites of 2015 (in no specific order) are…

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The Travel Weekend, in which I went to Bard to see Neil Gaiman and then drove to DC to see Amanda Palmer the following night. She signed my hippo. It was magical.
My First Book Event, in which I read from my poetry chapbook, Pickled Miracles, at Rickert & Beagle in Pittsburgh. I also sold custom poetry.
Our First House, in which my husband and I bought a house in Pittsburgh. It was one of the most stressful processes I’ve ever gone through, but now…we own a freaking house.
Ask Me Another, in which I was a participant on the NPR quiz show. Such fun. I didn’t win, but it was totally worth it.
Crafts, in which my visual art game became stronger. I did monthly doodles, photography, felting, papercrafts…it’s been fun to have something more tactile to balance my writing.

Honorable mentions: The Chuck Palahniuk and Rainbow Rowell events, Picklesburgh, Welcome to Night Vale, Mudderella, the Priory Hotel, the Pittsburgh Botanical Garden, NaNoWriMo

Has this year been a journey? Absolutely. But even though that was my word of the year, it’s not over yet. Is it ever?

Tomorrow: the word for this year and what I have planned.

Looking Over My Shoulder

It’s been three days since NaNoWriMo ended, and it all feels very weird. There’s this huge gap in my day-to-day schedule, like going from taking classes to summer vacation. When I’m not at my day job, I feel aimless. I’ve started keeping lists just so I don’t feel like I’m not doing anything at all.

NaNoWriMo was really, really hard. I did the bare minimum, writing almost every day with the exception of a day or two in the first week as well as Thanksgiving. I was never scrambling to catch up on more than a few thousand words, which I am obscenely grateful for. High five, November Katie.

Here are 5 lessons I learned from NaNo 2015:

Never be afraid to go in without a plan. A general idea is great, sure, but the real magic truly does come when you pick up from where you left off and springboard into a random event. How your characters react may end up being super natural because even you didn’t know it was coming!
Decide what you know you can do each day and make that your goal. I know now that I can comfortably write about 1,000 words in roughly an hour. Sometimes I get a momentum and head forward, others I get really ‘meh.’ But now I know I can do that, and I’m going to use that as my baseline.
You have time. Now, I know I’m saying that from a place of not having kids, but I think in general that people have more time than they realize. When you are trying to fit in a specific amount of work each day, you’ll be surprised where you can carve out the opportunity. It’s just easier to say “I don’t have time.”
You can do it. Just don’t get caught in analysis paralysis. It’s easy to go, “Oh god, I don’t know where this scene is going to go. I don’t even know if this book is good. Should I start over? Maybe I should go to veterinary school instead.” Just open the document and start writing. Pick up where you left off and go, even if it’s just to a scene where one of the characters goes to the bathroom. It’s something, and something will happen after they go to the bathroom.
Take every ounce of writing advice with a grain of salt. Not even that. Half a grain of salt. A thought of salt. There is so much “guidance” out there telling you what is the “right” way to put a book together and how “wrong” it is to do something and how a certain method is the way “all writers do it.” By all means, listen, but try different things. Break rules. Say, “Thanks, dude, but I’m going to do this instead.” Nobody is 100% right. Because otherwise every book – every style, every voice, every story – would sound exactly the same.

Phew. Now what, world?

My Top Favorite YouTube Relaxation Channels

I’ve only recently appreciated the fact that there is a lot of awesome stuff on Youtube for relaxation. I’m not even talking about the hours and hours and hours of music and meditation, both guided and musical. But there are a lot of things I thought wouldn’t be relaxing that makes me let go of anxiety and tension. Some of them may sound weird — my list includes ASMR, and there are many that believe that ASMR (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response) is not actually a thing, that it is anecdotal at best.

I tend to react to this the way I do to most self-care: what works for one person may not work for another. So long as it isn’t dangerous, hurtful or illegal, you don’t owe anyone an explanation.

So here we have some of my top five channels I watch to relax.

1. Maqaroon

This handcrafter does a lot of needle-felting (which I love to do), creates stuffed animals, and there are frequently links to places where you can buy the kits she uses. A lot of videos also have really pleasant music.

2. Funkypinkgal

This is another craft channel, but this one is more based on polymer clay charms. Really cute stuff. Again, really relaxing music.

3. Nameless (don’t be alarmed on this one — the person creating the videos had their name stolen, and to protect themselves and others, it was changed)

In Japan, there are these candy-making kits where you mix together water and dry ingredients before “preparing them” in really cool ways. I’ve never tried one of these personally, because I’ve heard they can taste a little odd (sweets across the world are interpreted very differently) but the videos are really cool.

4. K Werner Design

That’s right. It’s another craft one. This one centers around papercrafts – calligraphy, cardmaking,stamps, coloring. The pieces she makes are beautiful, and she has a ton of links and tutorials if you are inspired by her creations.

5. Grav3yardgirl

So this one is going to probably come off very “one of these things is not like the others” and I’m not really sure how to explain it but Bunny’s channel is really relaxing to me. Her biggest focus is on makeup, but she also reviews As Seen on TV products, takes the viewer on shopping trips, and does monthly favorites. Sometimes, it’s very high-energy, but her makeup reviews especially are very informative and make me feel very chilled out.

So how about it, guys? What channels do you watch when you’re trying to destress? I want to know! Tell me. I dare you.

5 Reasons You Should Do NaNoWriMo

Wow. I have been away. I’m sorry. I was busy getting a year older. But now I’m into the first day of being a thirty-something, and I have news:

This year, I am doing NaNoWriMo.

For those of you who think I may have just had a seizure, November is National Novel Writing Month, in which writers from all around the world will write 50,000 words, which is the equivalent of the Great Gatsby. All while trying not to be “that relative” who hides in the closet on Thanksgiving.

I’ve accomplished this feat before, but I believe I did it a March a while back (while back = years ago now). It’s not easy, y’all. But here are a few reasons why you should get in on this sweet word-crunching action:

Focus: I have been all over the place the past year, what with buying a house, changing jobs, all kinds of stuff. My writing has, as a result, also been a bit all over the place. By taking this month out, I am going to really focus in on getting the rough draft of my next novel done, and I think that’s a good thing.
Blood-pumping: I tried skiing once, and I somehow managed to point myself straight down a mountain. As I realized there was no slowing down, I leaned into it. It was one of the most terrifying, exhilarating experiences of my life. NaNo is kind of like that. Suddenly you’re all, “Gottawritegottawritegottawrite ohgodohgodohgod!”
Drop and give me 2000!: NaNo is a great test of discipline. It means putting your head down, getting your hands on your keyboard and going the distance. CUE THE OBLIGATORY CAKE SONG. It’s, like, the novel-writers marathon.
Love and community: You are absolutely not alone, no matter how much it may feel like it when you’re actually writing. This has become a huge movement, and you need only search on Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook or any other pick-your-poison social media site and you’ll immediately get to see other people who are as crazy as you!
Fun fun fun fun fun: Go back and read that in your best Tigger voice. Reach deep in your meaty chest and grab your passion and do-si-do. Write naked. Write with coffee. Write without sleeping. You can do anything! And it’s a lot of fun. It really, really is.

Are you trying NaNoWriMo? I’d love to hear about it! I’ll be blogging about my experience throughout November. Stay tuned as I try to get as much prep work done as possible between now and Halloween.

[How to Have a Day Job] 5 Things I Never Would Have Learned Without One

Some days, it’s hard to have perspective about your day job. Suddenly, something happens and you’re all 1) crying, 2) stressed out beyond all sanity, or 3) gassy. Hell, sometimes it’s all three. And you get those Lifetime movie moments where you think, “I could just get in my car and drive. Drive away from all this.”

That’s why it’s good, when there’s a pause between the bombshells going off, to think what experiences you would lose if not for your job. And as much as I’m sure you’re going, “I could live without those experiences, let me tell you,” I think that is wrong.

Here are five of mine.

Resumes: yeah, I know, I got the stickiest one out of the way first. But this has actually come up surprisingly often. Because of my business writing experience, I have a resume for my writing career. It helps me to focus and see where I want to flesh out my abilities.
Appreciation for customer service: I’ve heard it said that everyone should have to work retail or food service at least once. I’d like to add to that that everyone should have to take inbound calls in a call center for a day, minimum. You have no idea what the other end of that feels like until you’ve been in that seat, sweating and being screamed at and then having to come right back with a big smile and a “Thank you for calling Such and Such, how can I help you?”
Being an adult: I was grappling with how to word this one, and I’m not trying to sound condescending. If you can make it through life without ever having to deal with the crowded fish tank that is the corporate life, you are fortunate. But when you are exposed to drama, cliques, gossip and catty crap for 40 hours a week, you really do walk away with a lesson or two about how to fight clean, be the bigger person, and deal with having no control over the people around you.
Balance: Life. Work. Commute. Car problems. Illness. Finances. There’s no HOLD button for any of those things. By having this constant movement of live, work, eat, sleep, rest, rise, I’ve learned where, when and how to insert the things that are really important to me.
Microsoft Excel: Man, spreadsheets are so useful for real life stuff. I wish I was being sarcastic. Being organized makes things so much easier.

What have you learned from your day job? Any hard lessons? Convenient truths? Helpful computer programs?

How to Have a Day Job: Monday, Monday

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Every week, that iconic song by the Mamas and the Papas plays in my head. Which, while it’s a softer tone, isn’t too much better than the saccharine Office Space voice saying, “Somebody’s got a case of the Mondays!” And then there’s the manic Monday, the rainy day Monday, the I-don’t-like Monday (tell me more!). Think Monday and you get doom, gloom, short tempers and wailing grievers, bemoaning the loss of those sacred seconds in Saturday and Sunday.

When was it that the world decided to hate Monday? How did Monday get the short end of the stick? What high school told Monday that it was the Least Likely to Succeed? What bus drove through a puddle and soaked Monday in front of all his coworkers? Well, I’m sick of seeing Monday eating lunch alone every day. It’s time to flip the script with this. Life is way too short to begin each week with resentment, immediately counting down to the end of it. I say no more to that!

Here are 5 ways you can make Monday more awesome:

Start something new: have you been meaning to start a new book but just haven’t made the time? Maybe you want to go for a walk every afternoon, or cook more, or create a better cleaning schedule. Mondays have historically been seen as an auspicious day for good habits. It’s a clean start. Give it a try!
Eat that frog: if you’re dreading a certain item on your To Do list, Monday is a great time to knock it out. You’ll get a kick of encouragement and motivation that will set you on a success streak for the rest of the week.
Meditate: I love alliteration, and the gentle m’s of Monday put me in the mood for some mellowing out. Take 15 minutes out of your day, find a quiet space, and take long, deep breaths. Focus on the feeling of each inhalation (7 seconds) and exhalation (11 seconds). Clear your mind and refresh your core.
Begin with the best: Monday is also a great day for assessing your morning ritual. Get a good breakfast, do a few stretches, fill up a water bottle. Leave your house a little early so you don’t have to worry about running to your desk. Load up your phone or iPod with some good music, books, or podcasts. Sit in your car and drink in the morning.
Recognize Momentum or Management: There’s that glorious ‘m’ again! You don’t know how your Monday is going to go until it’s over. If it’s good, you can ride the momentum and let it supercharge the rest of your week. If it’s not, take a step back and try to figure out what you can manage. Did something happen that was outside of your control? Let it go. Did something occur that you can learn from? Make a note for the future. Stay in the moment rather than dwelling on what’s in the past. Tuesday is right around the corner! Just make sure Monday doesn’t feel ignored…

What do you do to work through the beginning of your week?

What is Happening?!

No, but seriously, 5 things happening right now:

1. I am taking part in NYC Midnight’s 2015 Flash Fiction Challenge 2015. Starting Friday, I’ll be given several challenges with an item, a location and a genre/theme/mood. I will then write stories of 1000 words in length. Fun? Hell yeah! Difficult? Probably!

2. I went to Confluence this past weekend. I haven’t been to a sci-fi/fantasy/literary conference in my town in a long while. It was a blast.

3. Still slowly fighting my way out of boxes. That’s a thing.

4. I bought a Sleep Number bed. I recommend it for all writers who want to a) sleep really well, b) write sitting in bed, and c) love being comfy. That last one isn’t just for writers, I know.

5. I miss having a flow to my writing. Everything has been feeling very disjointed since the move. I want desperately to have some semblance of habit back. I know that each day is a step forward, but it’s been really hard. I’ve started using the Pomodoro Technique to get back to being productive, but it’s taking more time than I’d like.

How are you?

We’re Back!

I missed you! How are you?

So things never go quite how you imagine they will. Even in the best situations. Such was the case with moving, and it wasn’t even a dramatic move. Looking at a map, it would be, like, two fingers tips. Nothing. But we are still reeling, still struggling to get back to whatever normal is.

Here are 5 things I learned from the move that I think is relevant to you, you not-moving people, you. Unless you are moving, in which case I send you lots of good vibes.

1. There’s no way to be too organized, and if you’re not organized at all, the only thing you need is a box to get started. You know those papers are important, and you should keep track of them. If you don’t have time to put together some elaborate color-coded system, at least keep them all in one single box. Not three. Not four and a shelf. Not four, a shelf and a folder.

2. Sometimes, there won’t be help there. You may have to improvise. Take the number of people who have said they will help you with something and divide it by two. Assume that’s how many people are coming. Make sure you have a separate plan of attack so you’re not left stranded.

3. Hoard small victories. Some days, the best you can hope for is a spot of floor and a cleared off space on the couch. Nothing wrong with that. Take pride in that even if you are surrounded by a box fortress.

4. You can always get back to where you were with small steps. I have a list of things I like to at least touch on every day – crafts, writing, spirituality and reading for pleasure, to name a few. I have had neither the time nor space is start new art projects, so I’ve had to be content with doodles, photos and “easy” art. Every little bit helps.

5. Take care of yourself. It may be hard, but make sure you’re eating, drinking plenty of fluids, and taking some time for yourself to recharge. It’s easy to say, “I will do that after I finish this big task,” but if you crash and burn, you won’t get anything done at all!

What life lessons have you taken from big changes?

5 lessons nobody tells you when you leave college

I wish someone had told me these things.

1. Not everyone gets a tax refund. Sometimes you actually have to pay the government! How messed up is that?!

2. You should buy a house. But it’s hard, and you have to have a buttload of money first.

3. Nobody is going to make doctor’s appointments for you. And there’s a good chance the doctor’s office isn’t going to be in walking distance of your door.

4. The world favors the lark, not the owl. As such, it takes substantial work to maintain a night lifestyle and still fulfill a lot of adult responsibilities.

5. Just assume you’re not going to get the hang of it all during your twenties. And then one day things will start slowly settling into place…for a while, anyway. It’s best to just keep truckin,’ and don’t over analyze things.